The Magic of Our Words: Kindness and Gratitude

    The other day I caught a friend as I was coming out of a shop and she was going in.  It was delightful.  We hadn’t seen each other in some time and it was really lovely to talk for a bit.  But in that conversation she said something to me that was very important. 

She talked about reading my blog and how helpful my posts on spoons were for her, especially at the time she read them.  I told her I really needed to start writing again and she said that I should because my writing was really good or lovely.  I don’t remember the adjective she used I just remember the feeling that it gave me and the other memories it brought to the surface. Another friend, quite some time ago, had thanked me for writing on energy and depression. 

Gifts from friends.

The current compliments and thanks combined with those earlier thanks was very important.  I have wanted so much to start writing again, but for a long time I have struggled with this feeling that maybe I don’t have anything to really offer or that maybe no one cares what I have to say.  And these compliments and thanks blew those thoughts away.  They blew that feeling away.  I don’t fully feel confident.  But I no longer feel worthless.  I no longer feel completely helpless and bothersome.  What I have to offer is worth offering and does help people.  

    I think we should compliment and thank others more often.  Not empty compliments.  But when we really mean it, when we really want to say something, we should.  We never know when our words will help another person.  I want to make an effort at this.  I want to make a conscious effort to say how I feel more often.  To thank people for what they do.  To speak up when I like something or when something speaks to me.  What a deep connection we have when we let ourselves feel and be vulnerable. 

I remember when I still worked at the bakery and I saw a woman who was placing an order.  Her outfit was simply delightful and so well put together.  I told her, “I love your outfit; it’s like something off of Modcloth.”  She beamed.  She told me that was the best compliment ever and both of us had a moment standing there just being happy.  I think we need more of these kinds of interactions.  All of us.  

Image from The Graphics Fairy

    When I was growing up I was discouraged from complimenting others or saying thank you.   I’d like to say they were very silly reasons, but that would minimize the abuse and homophobia that came with the many adult voices that told me those things.  Those comments and learned behaviors are not things I’d like to keep.  I want to be - I want to be a ray of sunshine.  I’d like to make people happy.  And I wonder if I can do that with my words.  I shall give it a try.  How about you?  What do you think?