Having to Repeat a Lesson Does Not Mean You're Stupid

    Sometimes it takes us several times to learn the same lesson.  I don’t think it reflects our intelligence or says that we really didn’t learn it the first time.  I think it says more about us needing to learn about listening to ourselves and our intuition rather than what everyone else has to say about us and what we should be doing.

    I can not even begin to count the number of times that I have realized what I really needed to be doing to achieve what I want or found a method that worked for me, but then someone else, usually someone who had some influence or power in my life, was not entirely approving of my decisions or methods.

    They thought a better way to do it was this or that I really should be working on thing B instead of thing A, even if I had worked through the logic and could explain why not having thing A taken care directly impeded thing B.

    And when you come up against this often enough, especially with people who can decide that you just don’t have a home anymore, you become very sensitive to this situation.  The smallest amount of discouragement or disapproval can lead to you toggling into the state of giving into what they think is best or just giving up.  Even if you aren't going to lose your home over the matter.

    So how do we learn after years of bending to listen to ourselves?  I’m really not sure, but I am going to try just pushing through and encouraging myself to listen to myself.  I am sure there are great therapists our there who have advice on the matter.  And if they have advice I’d like to hear it.  For now I am going to try and remind myself that I know what I am going through and I know what doesn’t work for me.