April 14, 2017

#spoonie: Learning to Sit Down

    I have these little ticking thoughts in my head quite often.
“If I run a load of dishes tonight there will be less to do in the morning.”
“I haven’t moped this floor in a while.”
"These things need to be put away.”
“These things really need to go somewhere else.  If I clean out the tea cupboard I could fit them up there.”  
    A lot of the times it is chores.

    And there will be no end to the chores.  It is especially bad if someone is coming over.  Now cleaning the home and keeping it organized are good things, but there will always be more work to do.  And my body can’t take too much work at once.  I have to remind myself to sit.  I have to remind myself to rest.  But there is always that ticking in my head.  That thought in the back that thinks I could do just a little more.  Even after a full day where I am so tired and exhausted.  My body is aching and my mind is slow.  I think about doing more work.

    Sometimes it is comical the way I have to tell myself, “Lili you are a spoonie; sit the fuck down.”  Luckily I have good friends that understand and don’t hassle me about needing to rest.

    Maybe I should try affirmations for the thoughts.  Work to reprogram my mind.

    Do you ever have this problem?  What do you do?

Till Later,
Lilian A. Brennan


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